Monday, August 5, 2013

What the heck, I'm blogging again!!!

So here I sit at the Residence Inn in Charlottesville, listening to the housekeeping staff scour the room across mine. I didn't let them in my room, you see, because I have a little eight month-old girl. She's sleeping in our bedroom, the one we all share. I just went on Amazon to buy one more gadget to try and keep her stimulated, growing, occupied, or otherwise entertained while we live out our days in Virginia. Scott is studying at the JAG School, just a short walk from here. It's an adventure! It also often skids dangerously close to the cliff of cacophonous boredom. Ohp. The housekeeper just moved on to the next door. (*tap tap tap, "housekeeping?") I wonder what her life is like? See, this is my problem. My daughter will grow, learn, be entertained. I'll make sure of it. Scott will be likewise - it's why we're here. That just leaves me. How will I grow, be stimulated, be entertained. What will I do? Besides shop Amazon? I love that we're here. I love being back east again. I love seeing Virginia. I love that Scott gets to do what he's doing. I love that we have the ability to be here with him while he does it. I love that I have all the time in the day (and night) to be with my girl and give her all the things she needs. But I'm now eight days into this new venture, and I'm realizing - - I need more. There are too many hours to not be doing more. "I could write a blog. I have thoughts." I used to blog all the time. But for years I've not been able to keep up a regular habit, and I'm not sure why. I need a receptacle for the things I think. And here's something I've been thinking lately. I need to use my time more enjoyably. Well, maybe enjoyably isn't the word. I need to use my time in a way that satisfies me. I need to be doing more things I love. Hard to do, when you're at a short-term location without a car and beholden to an infant. Nevertheless, I'm a creative person. I can find a bus schedule and a library, can't I? I could explore more. I could write more. I could read more. I could find projects that excite me. It's exhausting to think about adding all this to my life. But I'm already exhausted. I push through it and do stuff anyway. And if what I do could be something exciting, like turning in a podcast assignment* (more on that later) instead of dishes and laundry, I suspect I would not feel that exhausted after doing it. Maybe I'd feel just the opposite. Maybe I'd feel like me again. *Podcast assignment: There's a guy back home that's created a podcast for which I contribute, called The Loveumentary. I owe him a couple of stories plus a blog post. I'll link those items (upon their completion) to this blog so you can follow, if you like. In summary, I'm just a 39 year-old wife and mother sitting in a Residence Inn neither sad nor happy. Neither empty nor full. And I need to change it. More to come! So much more to come!!!


Jen said...

Oh the adventures that await you! I look forward to hearing more!